Amor fati

Among other things I enjoy brief forays into the world of philosophy; I go in knowing nothing, I come out knowing little, but it is always fun and a little knowledge is always enlightening. The internet misleads us often, but I have no closer resource to call upon and so I shall have to believe what it says. For now.

When I was younger (although to be honest I am not so very old now) I was quite fond of Machiavelli. I don't know why. There just seemed to be a moment where I saw that everything he wrote had some sort of truth in it, even if it was quite grim and unsavoury, but then again I was at a stage where I made manipulation my game and enjoyed the titillating effects of a little counter-psychology. The only difference between then and now is that I used to consciously dig under the skin of people I didn't like -and sometimes people I liked- whereas now I just get under everyone's skin whether I like to or not. Habits are hard to break.

And then after that was a period where I toyed with Plato. For some reason Republic amused me immensely; I enjoyed the way he tied everything into neat little knots and made conclusions through deductions. For example there was an argument about honour; his companion argued that honour is not necessary, but Plato pointed out that even thieves have honour (hence the quote 'honour among thieves') and that a society without honour is pretty much one that would fail to function. Although I wasn't very sure- it was very nice and neat, of course, but can you really say that since this is A, that will be B and next is C? It was a bit muddling.

Of course, bear in mind that I was just about fourteen or fifteen when I began speculating about Machiavelli, and maybe sixteen when I began on Plato. I always had the vague feeling that I was only pretending- pretending to understand, when I don't really, because I do know that without the proper research I am missing all the wonderful subtleties and small details that make up the true masterpiece. But I have time, I think, to discover all those things. Everything in their own time.

One thing, though, that I am quite good in, is the concept of amor fati, which I did not know I believed in until I found it. Why, I've been doing it all my life! Accepting your fate- I have accepted and accepted and accepted, up to the point where I was called a defeatist and a fatalist. But I am going to change that, I think- I no longer desire to sit and allow fate to make me. If there is such a thing as fate. And if you ever watched Terminator, you may have seen them say repeatedly:

There's no fate but what we make for ourselves.